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Privacy Policy
(Because Apparently This Is a Thing We Must Have)

Intro

Welcome. You’re here because the internet has trained you to scroll to the bottom of websites and look for reassurance that your soul, fingerprints, and childhood memories will not be sold to the highest bidder. Relax. Breathe. Read on.

duction

1. What Information We Collect
We collect only what is absolutely necessary, which is very little. This may include:

  • Your name (the one you voluntarily type)

  • Your email address (again, voluntarily)

  • The crushing weight of modern digital life (metaphorically)

We do not collect:

  • Your passwords

  • Your private thoughts

  • Your browser history from 2007

  • Your astrological sign (even if Mercury is in retrograde)
     

2. Why We Collect It
We collect information for shockingly boring reasons:

  • To respond to you

  • To provide services you actually asked for

  • To make the website function like a normal, law-abiding website

No, we are not:

  • Building psychological profiles

  • Training an AI to impersonate you

  • Planning world domination using your email address
     

3. Cookies 🍪
Yes, we use cookies. No, not the edible kind. They help the website remember preferences and not behave like it’s meeting you for the first time every 30 seconds. If cookies frighten you, you may disable them and experience the internet the way nature intended: mildly inconvenient.

4. Third Parties
We do not sell, rent, lease, auction, or sacrifice your data to third parties. If a third-party service (like payment gateways or analytics tools) touches your data, it’s because:

  • They are essential

  • They are reputable

  • Lawyers told us this sentence must exist
     

5. Data Security
We guard your data with:

  • Encryption

  • Best practices

  • The general paranoia that comes from living on the internet

Is anything 100% secure? No. Is your data safer here than written on a sticky note? Absolutely.

6. Your Rights
You have the right to:

  • Ask what data we have

  • Ask us to delete it

  • Politely judge us while doing so

Just email us. We’re humans. Mostly.

7. Policy Changes
If we ever update this policy, we’ll do something radical:
We’ll update this page. No smoke signals. No carrier pigeons.

8. Final Words
We respect your privacy because:

  • It’s the right thing to do

  • It’s legally required

  • And honestly, we don’t want your data cluttering our lives either

     

If you’ve read this far, congratulations. You care more about privacy than 98% of the internet.
Now go forth and browse responsibly.

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